tigerskittles88 (tigerskittles88) wrote in creative_minds,

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Horror story concept, yay or nay?

This is a short little concept that I came up with for a creative writing module in University last semester, although it wasn't the final idea I chose to write about, I'm hoping to get some feedback on here and if people seem to like it I can work on changing it into a short story.
All around me I can hear the scuttling, the screams as people are dragged down to the floor, never again to be brought back up to the light. My breath is ragged now; my feet pound the floor sending shock waves up my legs, making them ache. I will never get away if I let myself slow down. Like Orpheus I cannot look back to see what terrors lie behind me. In some ways, I am blessed of that opportunity; some people go mad with the things that they see. The cries the shouts, I cannot answer them. All I can do is keep running, keep running until I cannot hear them anymore, only then can I allow myself to think.

Blaring white lights flash in my peripherals, I barely stop to register the splashes of crimson red that fly up onto them, bathing the corridor in an eerie pink glow. It makes me think of a womb.

As I continue, my heart tremoring with fear, the flashing lights illuminate the faces of the dead, and the dying. Their faces, like a bad animation change as soon as the light flickers away, only to be revealed in a new grotesque position as soon as the light flickers back on. One woman, her jaw locked into position, her mouth a perfect ‘O’, eyes wide and pupils dilated lies stiffened upon the floor. Then, her still body covered in sticky maroon splashes of congealed blood, jerks upon the floor, her lifeless limbs slapping against the cheap linoleum flooring.

Just that moment lost me more time than I could afford. Time is everything in these situations. Now they are beside me, gaining in front of me, surrounding me from all sides. For a moment I almost give up, how can I get out of a situation like this? Perhaps I should just lie down upon the floor and let one of them take me? It will make everything so much easier; it will be over quickly…but can I let the sacrifices my family had made account for nothing? Can I let it come to pass that their deaths, to save myself and my brother become worthless?

Silently I receive my answer.

Gritting my teeth I use my last burst of energy to sprint down the corridor, the screaming is drowned out by the singing of my blood in my ears. Sweeter than the sound of any music, as it means that I am still alive, and I can make it out of this situation. Blood slickens the floor, my feet screech against it as I turn the last corner.

Just keep going, keep going. Don’t look back, no, don’t look back.

My body slams full force into vent outside of the safe house, the main door will have been locked by now, it would not open for me even if I ask. The vents are my only hope, scrambling inside the ventilation shaft I swiftly shove the vent grate back into position, keeping my location secret from those things outside. Or at least, hopefully. For a moment, I sit, the ice cold steel bending with the weight of my back as I leant against the frame.

My tears threaten to overflow, but I dare not cry.

They will hear it.
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